Pumpkin Carving Fun

Hey Calvin, you look like you're having fun. Let me take a picture of you carving your pumpkin.


Umm, okay, that's not quite what I had in mind. Let me see your face.

No, seriously, give me a big smile!


This time can you open your eyes?

Never mind. I'll just take a picture of your pumpkin.


Now see, Thomas is an obedient child. When I say, "Hey Thomas, look at the camera," he does!


I'm willing to overlook the fact that his murder victim pumpkin is a little disturbing.


Especially when he poses with it it like he's the one who just discovered the body. That's funny!


How about Dad? He's carving a special request from Katie.



Recognize this guy? If you're up on your Disney animated movies, you'll know that it's Mike Wazowski from "Monsters, Inc."


See, look how happy Katie is with Dad's creation. Doesn't she look excited? Hey Katie, let me get a picture with you smi. . . You know what? Never mind.


Happy Halloween, everyone!

Fox Network executives, are you listening?

Here's Calvin's idea for a new TV show: "They should combine House, Fringe, and 24, and make a show about Jack Bauer as a doctor who deals with paranormal events and saves the U.S. from terrorism."

I think it's a great idea, don't you?

I have some ammunition the next time he makes fun of me for doing something absentminded

As I was backing the car out of the driveway this morning to take him to school, Calvin looked down and said, "Oh. I need shoes," and went running back in the house.

Guess who's been watching "Wayne's World?"

(Thomas tells me something cool in the car the other day.)

Mom: No way!
Thomas: Way!

Thomas' "No Homework" Dance

Maybe I shouldn't laugh at the pelvic thrusts, but I think they're funny!

Where did Paul go?

Paul hasn't posted in a while. Where's he been? Riding his bike - until recently when he had a "little accident"

He got a little dirty


Skinned his knee


Broke a bone (notice the lump behind the pinky)


And got it patched up (the straight black lines are pins)


When he gets back on the bike in a couple more weeks, you can follow his adventures here

Dinner Table Conversation with a Ten Year Old

Mom: Okay, Thomas, after dinner you need to get your homework done. Dinner, homework. Dinner, homework. Dinner, homework. Got it?

Thomas: Dinner, homework, beat Calvin up, right?

Mom: Sure.

Thomas: Really?!?

Mom: Yeah, as long as you're willing to accept the consequences.

Thomas: Oh, boo hoo. So I lose a kidney. I have two!

Bo-Ring

I feel so sorry for the kids when Grandpa Dave comes to visit.

He's just so boring.

He never does anything with them.

He really doesn't like kids very much.

He pretty much ignores them.

He doesn't relate to them at all.

Nope, he just really doesn't understand kids.

Poor guy. He doesn't know what he's missing.

I bet he could have a lot of fun if he'd only try.

Recipe from Thomas

Thomas just asked me to share his original recipe for popsicles. I'm so proud of him!

1/4 cup orange juice
1/4 cup limeade

Pour into each socket of popsicle mold.
Freeze for 5 hours (or overnight).
(If it doesn't come out dunk in warm water.)
(If it still doesn't come out use knife.)

Playing in the Fountains

Paul's parents live in a planned community that has lots of fun features like this plaza full of fountains.

Max stepping on a jet.


Thomas is showing the water who's boss.

Calvin aiming a stream of water at Max. He got some pretty good distance on that shot!


Baby Cedric with Uncle Neal. I wish I had a better picture of him belly laughing, but this is the best one I got.

Katie would stand over a jet and wait for it to hit her in the booty.

Max practicing his scary face.

Calvin showing off his best superhero pose.

Setting a Good Example for our Children

Thomas whispered, "I'm boooored," to me during church today (how can a kid whisper and whine at the same time?), so I pulled out a piece of paper and wrote at the top "Once upon a time there was a polar bear named Bob. . ." and passed it over to him. He was having none of it--he just wrote "The End" and pushed the paper aside. But Uncle Neal, who was attending church with us today to hear Calvin's very first talk--he did a great job!--took the paper and started writing. Here's what happened next:

(Sherise) Once upon a time, there was a polar bear named Bob. . .

(Thomas) The End

(Neal) He was one day scavenging for food when a surfacing Russian submarine crashed through the ice.

(Paul gets into the act) One of the Russian sailors needed to use the bathroom quite badly and jumped out of the submarine and onto the ice field right in front of Bob.

(Sherise) "Ewww!" said Bob. "I thought only bears did that out in the open!"

"Wow, a talking bear!" cried the sailor.

(Thomas sees that this is actually kind of fun) "Uh oh," said Bob. "This is all an illusion."

"Oh, okay," said the sailor.

(Neal) "The illusion is that I'm speaking Russian. The truth? You are speaking BEAR. I've met many Eskimos, but never such a hairy man! And no one who could speak to me."

(Paul) "Give me three reasons why I should not eat you right now," said Bob in his very best Russian.

"Give me three reasons should not shoot you right now," said the sailor in his very best BEAR.

(Sherise) "Well, the first reason would be that you don't have a gun," said Bob, whose Russian was getting better by the moment.

"Oh. Good point," said the sailor, whose BEAR was still shaky at best.

(Thomas) "And my fur is bulletproof."

(Neal) "Let me stop you right there. There is something you should know about me," said the Russian.

(Paul) "Guns and thick hides do not matter," said the sailor. "Without even touching you, I can shoot negative chi through your body using the ancient King Fu technique of Feng-shui," he said in his very best BEAR.

(Thomas) "Boring!" said the bear. "Can I just eat you now?"

(Neal) The sailor thought he was done using the bathroom until he saw black sharp claws extend from Bob's paws. The longest claw, the middle, was at least 12 cm in length. The sailor felt a cold shiver through his body. The chill in his bones was so deep that he could no longer feel the mess in his navy blue trousers.

Fortunately, the meeting ended at this point, so the story stopped before it could go even further down that path.

Does this seem familiar?

Remember last year when Paul posted this picture of me? (You can read about it here.)
Well, guess what?

Behold the awesome power of Mexican food

(I know we haven't posted in a while. I wish I had a great excuse, like we've been taking fabulous vacations, or I've just been too busy planning exciting and enriching activities for my children every day, but the truth is, we've been plain lazy! I'll try to get back in the swing of things soon, but in the meantime, here's a little tidbit to keep you going.)

The Scene: Calvin's buddy Edward is visiting from Colorado for a few days, and our whole family is at the Red Iguana restaurant with Edward and his parents. Edward--a notoriously picky eater--is persuaded by his mom to try a bite of her entree.

EDWARD: Wow! My brain is trying to tell me to be picky, but the food is so good, I . . . I . . . CAN'T!

Maybe I should consider homeschooling?

Starting in August, I will have four children in three different schools. (And really, it's more like three and a half schools, because one will be in half-day kindergarten.) This is not the school board's fault.

None of those children attend the school for which we live in the boundaries; therefore, we will be responsible for transporting them to and from school each day. Again, not the school board's fault if we chose to enroll them in non-boundary schools.

The elementary school has an early dismissal every Friday. I don't have a problem with that.

Last May, we received a letter from the middle school, informing us they were considering modifying their schedule to allow "collaboration time" for the faculty. This would involve either a late start or an early dismissal one day a week. I don't have a problem with that, as long as the time is used for its intended purpose and doesn't become "the faculty uses this period to perform personal errands or sneak out to the nearest bar" time. I filled out the survey and noted my preference for an early dismissal on Friday, to coordinate with the elementary school's schedule. (I should note that this is the elementary that feeds into this middle school, so one would expect I'm not the only parent with children in both schools.)

The school board didn't listen. This is where I start to have a little problem with them.

We just got another letter: the middle school will have . . . tadah! . . . a late start on Fridays.

So starting in late August, this is what my Friday schedule will look like:

• 8:40 am: Drop off Thomas and Max.
• 9:25 am: Drop off Calvin.
• 10:45 am: Pick up Max.
• 1:40 pm: Pick up Thomas.
• 2:50 pm: Pick up Calvin.
• (Katie, thankfully, doesn't have school on Fridays, or this would be even more heinous.)
  

Every. Friday. All. School year. Long.

Just shoot me now.

Oh, THAT'S what the video means! Why didn't they just say so?

Oh man, I used to LOVE this song. I don't know how I managed never to see the video until I saw this version a few weeks ago. Enjoy!

==>Warning: they use the word dou***bag in the song, so if that's going to offend you, please don't click!

This makes me happy

Tell me this doesn't make you smile, too.

Really, Sign? Really?

Just spotted this sign as I was out running errands:

"Are covers and truck toppers are the best!"

Ugh.

Yogurt and wet pants: why do they always do these things five minutes before we have to leave the house?

Calvin's Scout Project

This is the project Calvin just finished to earn his Cinematography merit badge in Boy Scouts. Enjoy!

Another picture of Max sleeping

That's Paul's iPod--Max's favorite toy--under his cheek. He calls it "Dad's cell phone with no buttons."

Highway to the danger zone

Katie, age 3, trying to get Mom to drive faster:

"Speed of sound, Mom! Speed of sound!"

How Katie entertained herself during church on Sunday

Good thing Mom wore sandals.

And as an added bonus, the stickers kept her entertained the rest of the day at home!

Gee, I'm So Glad We Live On A Former Creek Bed: Why We've Only Dug One Garden Box So Far

In order to plant these:




We first have to dig out these:

Congratulations, Thomas!

Hey, guess whose team just won the Creative Pursuits competition for the entire school district?

This guy's!

A Limerick by Thomas

There once was an old lady
Ya know she was from Haiti
And though she was mean
She also loved green
So she married a leprechaun.

(Found by Mom in his backpack.)

Just in case President Obama needs any more cabinet members

(The scene: Mom has been trying to beat a certain level of a computer game for quite some time, with no luck.)

Calvin: Can I play? I have a new strategy I want to try.

Mom: What's the strategy?

Calvin: I'm going to close my eyes, move the mouse around randomly, and click as fast as I can. A lot of things in life are better when you just close your eyes and hope for the best. Like the economy!

Well, I guess they don't get my jokes either, so it's only fair

Katie: Knock knock.
Max: Who's there?
Katie: Quesadilla.
Max: Quesadilla who?
Katie: Quesdilla guy!
(Hysterical laughter from both children.)

Katie: Knock knock.
Max: Who's there?
Katie: Bucket.
Max: Bucket who?
Katie: Bucket full of eggs lady!
(Cue laughter again.)

And now, it's time for me to brag on my son

The elementary school had a fundraising Math-a-Thon today. Every kid in the school did 100 math problems. Theoretically, they've spent the past couple weeks getting pledges from friends and neighbors for finishing said problems. Fortunately for our family, the pledges aren't actually due until next week. (If you get a call from one of my kids, please be nice and support them. Hey, I didn't let them sell you crummy wrapping paper last fall, so do a sister a solid this time around, okay?)

Anyhoo, I was at the school correcting the 6th grade students' papers. The parent volunteers were in the 6th grade common area, and kids from all the classrooms would bring us their papers, we'd correct them, they'd redo the ones they missed, we'd correct them again, rinse, lather, repeat. The mom across the table from me looked up from the paper she was correcting and said, "This kid is a rock star! He hasn't missed one problem. I wish he were my kid." I glanced at the name, tried not to look too smug, and said, "Yeah, that's MY kid."

I wish they got along this well when they were awake!

Guess who's gunning for "Favorite Child" status?

Thomas not only made this (using dry-erase marker so it would wash off later), he got out the camera and took the picture himself. All together now: Awwwwww.

Cupcake Fun

The Cub Scouts held their Blue and Gold Banquet last night, and each scout was supposed to bring a patriotic dessert. Here's Thomas with his cupcakes.
Yeah, I don't know what's up with the arm, either, but I thought he had a cute smile. Here's a closeup on one of the cupcakes.The "Star-Spangled-est Dessert" award was well deserved, don't you think? I got some pre-made fondant and star-shaped cookie cutters for him to play with. Fondant looks cool and is fun to decorate with, but man, does it ever taste naaaasty.

And here's Katie helping to show off the cupcakes. Note the uncombed hair at 5:00 in the afternoon. That, my friends, is a mark of good parenting.