Calvin and Outsourcing - Part 2

First, some clarifying comments about the situation I described last night.

Chores around the house are NOT tied to compensation, one cleans one's room because it is part of living here. If chores go undone, privileges are revoked.

Separate from all this is allowance. The kids need to learn to live on a budget, learn how to save, and make some financial mistakes in a low-risk environment. Both the kids are getting much better about saving their money, so I feel like this is working.

I was really happy with this arrangement until yesterday. Calvin found the loophole, and exploited it. The requirement has always been "make sure your room is clean before {x}." We have never explicitly stated that Calvin has to clean Calvin's room. We now have to decide whether the important thing is that the work gets done or that Calvin is the one who does the work.

In another Calvin moment this evening, he is working on mathematical models to calculate the cost of various activites. For example, if he walks across the room to get something for mom, that will cost us (not him, since we buy his shoes) a couple cents. The rationale is that if a pair of shoes cost $20, there is a finite number of steps that can be taken before the shoes are worn out. By extension, the cost of each step is $20 / total finite steps that can be taken.

He's begun working on a more sophisticated model called "going to school" which calculates the cost of not only wear and tear on shoes, but wear and tear on clothes, gas consumed in driving the car to/from, lunch, etc.

He hasn't actually come out and said it, but I assume that this will all ultimately lead up to him telling us how it saves us money to let us stay home from school, or when we ask him to do something, how it actually costs us money to have him do it.

It appears that it will soon be time to introduce the corporate accounting concept of "cross-charging" where he responsible for his portion of every expense the corporation (or household in this case) incurs. In other words, we'll start charging for food and rent.

Calvin has Discovered Outsourcing

I was doing the lawn tonight and needed some help cleaning up because it was getting dark. Thomas is trying to earn some money to buy a Nintendo DS, so I offerred to give him a couple bucks to come out and help me finish up.

Thomas then proceeds to tell me that he and Calvin have been working on a deal where Calvin will pay him "like $3/week" to do his chores for him. My initial thought was that if Calvin wants to spend his money this way, I suppose he's entitled to. But then I remembered we pay Calvin $5.50/week, so the little putz would basically be earning $2.50/week to sit around and do nothing.

I think it's time to revisit the compensation structure around here. Alternatively, I'd like to see if there's some way I could apply this technique to my situation.

Thomas has a rudimentary understanding of the birds and the bees

Uncle Joel: Hey Thomas, how'd you lose your voice?

Thomas: Well, either I'm going through puberty, or I have a cold.

Calvin is on his way to becoming a Hollywood casting director

Calvin surfs past an extremely dumb kids' show while watching TV.

Mom: What IS that?

Calvin: Well, I think they got a bunch of actors in a room, had them all draw straws, and the six who got the short straws had to be in this show.

A Child Rearing First

You would think with four children that this would have happened to me before now, but Katie locked me out of the car yesterday. We arrived at Matthew's preschool several minutes early to pick him up, and as we waited in the driveway, she asked if she could get out of her car seat. So I undid her seat belt and let her roam free for a few minutes, and then when it was time to go in, I did what I do every single time I pick Matty up from school--I left her in the van with a movie going on the DVD player. Didn't think for one second about it. (Lest you think I'm a completely neglectful mom: the car is obviously not running when I do this, Miss Stacey's school room is at the front of the house with a large window facing the driveway, and there are several other moms picking up their kids at the same time, so I'm not leaving her totally unattended.) When I got back to the car, I found that she had climbed into the front seat and pushed the lock button, which locks every door in the van. I tried for an HOUR to get her to unlock it, to no avail.





See how close she is to the lock button? See how she's staring at it intently and moving her hand toward it, like ANY SECOND NOW she's going to figure out that all she has to do is push it up, and Mom will be able to open the door and unwrap that mini Butterfinger bar that Katie found on the front passenger seat? See the water droplets on the window that are actually melted snow that has also been melting all over Mom's back because her coat's in the car?



See the look on her face that says, "Why do you keep pointing at the bottom edge of the window? Why are you hopping around like a crazy person? What exactly do you want me to do here? I already pointed to the Honda logo like you apparently wanted. What is this 'button' you keep talking about? Can you please just open the door and unwrap this Butterfinger already?"

Thank goodness Paul's office is only about 10 minutes away, or I would have been up a creek. I don't know what would have been more expensive and/or embarrassing, a call to the police, a locksmith, or repairing a smashed window.

(Thanks to Miss Stacey for the photos!)

It's a boy!

And it's not ours!!

Congrats to Neal and Alanna!



Photo taken by Paul

Delicious Irony

Sometimes I can't decide if people have a twisted sense of humor or if they're completely oblivious. I made two phone calls today, and had to hold both times. In both cases, the hold music was particularly apropos:

1. Call to a mobile phone company. The hold music? Van Morrison's Precious Time.
It doesn’t matter what route you take
Sooner or later the hearts going to break
No rhyme or reason, no master plan
No nirvana, no promised land

Because, precious time is slipping away
You know you’re only king for a day
It doesn’t matter to which God you pray
Precious time is slipping away

2. Call to a heating company, to have some work done on my furnace. The hold music? Phil Collins' Tonight, tonight
I got some money in my pocket, about ready to burn
I don't remember where I got it, I gotta get it to you
So please answer the phone, cuz I keep calling, but you're never home
What am I gonna do
Tonight, tonight, tonight
I'm gonna make it right
Tonight, tonight, tonight.

I don't think people at the phone company or a couple heating guys could be this clever if they tried, which in my mind makes it just that much funnier/ironic.

What funny hold music have you had to listen to?