A Limerick by Thomas

There once was an old lady
Ya know she was from Haiti
And though she was mean
She also loved green
So she married a leprechaun.

(Found by Mom in his backpack.)

Just in case President Obama needs any more cabinet members

(The scene: Mom has been trying to beat a certain level of a computer game for quite some time, with no luck.)

Calvin: Can I play? I have a new strategy I want to try.

Mom: What's the strategy?

Calvin: I'm going to close my eyes, move the mouse around randomly, and click as fast as I can. A lot of things in life are better when you just close your eyes and hope for the best. Like the economy!

Well, I guess they don't get my jokes either, so it's only fair

Katie: Knock knock.
Max: Who's there?
Katie: Quesadilla.
Max: Quesadilla who?
Katie: Quesdilla guy!
(Hysterical laughter from both children.)

Katie: Knock knock.
Max: Who's there?
Katie: Bucket.
Max: Bucket who?
Katie: Bucket full of eggs lady!
(Cue laughter again.)

And now, it's time for me to brag on my son

The elementary school had a fundraising Math-a-Thon today. Every kid in the school did 100 math problems. Theoretically, they've spent the past couple weeks getting pledges from friends and neighbors for finishing said problems. Fortunately for our family, the pledges aren't actually due until next week. (If you get a call from one of my kids, please be nice and support them. Hey, I didn't let them sell you crummy wrapping paper last fall, so do a sister a solid this time around, okay?)

Anyhoo, I was at the school correcting the 6th grade students' papers. The parent volunteers were in the 6th grade common area, and kids from all the classrooms would bring us their papers, we'd correct them, they'd redo the ones they missed, we'd correct them again, rinse, lather, repeat. The mom across the table from me looked up from the paper she was correcting and said, "This kid is a rock star! He hasn't missed one problem. I wish he were my kid." I glanced at the name, tried not to look too smug, and said, "Yeah, that's MY kid."