Calvin is on his way to becoming a Hollywood casting director

Calvin surfs past an extremely dumb kids' show while watching TV.

Mom: What IS that?

Calvin: Well, I think they got a bunch of actors in a room, had them all draw straws, and the six who got the short straws had to be in this show.

A Child Rearing First

You would think with four children that this would have happened to me before now, but Katie locked me out of the car yesterday. We arrived at Matthew's preschool several minutes early to pick him up, and as we waited in the driveway, she asked if she could get out of her car seat. So I undid her seat belt and let her roam free for a few minutes, and then when it was time to go in, I did what I do every single time I pick Matty up from school--I left her in the van with a movie going on the DVD player. Didn't think for one second about it. (Lest you think I'm a completely neglectful mom: the car is obviously not running when I do this, Miss Stacey's school room is at the front of the house with a large window facing the driveway, and there are several other moms picking up their kids at the same time, so I'm not leaving her totally unattended.) When I got back to the car, I found that she had climbed into the front seat and pushed the lock button, which locks every door in the van. I tried for an HOUR to get her to unlock it, to no avail.





See how close she is to the lock button? See how she's staring at it intently and moving her hand toward it, like ANY SECOND NOW she's going to figure out that all she has to do is push it up, and Mom will be able to open the door and unwrap that mini Butterfinger bar that Katie found on the front passenger seat? See the water droplets on the window that are actually melted snow that has also been melting all over Mom's back because her coat's in the car?



See the look on her face that says, "Why do you keep pointing at the bottom edge of the window? Why are you hopping around like a crazy person? What exactly do you want me to do here? I already pointed to the Honda logo like you apparently wanted. What is this 'button' you keep talking about? Can you please just open the door and unwrap this Butterfinger already?"

Thank goodness Paul's office is only about 10 minutes away, or I would have been up a creek. I don't know what would have been more expensive and/or embarrassing, a call to the police, a locksmith, or repairing a smashed window.

(Thanks to Miss Stacey for the photos!)

It's a boy!

And it's not ours!!

Congrats to Neal and Alanna!



Photo taken by Paul

Delicious Irony

Sometimes I can't decide if people have a twisted sense of humor or if they're completely oblivious. I made two phone calls today, and had to hold both times. In both cases, the hold music was particularly apropos:

1. Call to a mobile phone company. The hold music? Van Morrison's Precious Time.
It doesn’t matter what route you take
Sooner or later the hearts going to break
No rhyme or reason, no master plan
No nirvana, no promised land

Because, precious time is slipping away
You know you’re only king for a day
It doesn’t matter to which God you pray
Precious time is slipping away

2. Call to a heating company, to have some work done on my furnace. The hold music? Phil Collins' Tonight, tonight
I got some money in my pocket, about ready to burn
I don't remember where I got it, I gotta get it to you
So please answer the phone, cuz I keep calling, but you're never home
What am I gonna do
Tonight, tonight, tonight
I'm gonna make it right
Tonight, tonight, tonight.

I don't think people at the phone company or a couple heating guys could be this clever if they tried, which in my mind makes it just that much funnier/ironic.

What funny hold music have you had to listen to?

What our kids think we do when they're not around

Family Friend: What do you think your mom does at night after you go to sleep?

Calvin: She fights crime!

**************

(We have someone coming to the house mid-morning to give us a bid on some HVAC work.)

Paul: I can't decide if I should go into the office for half the morning or just work from home.

Calvin: Stay home and work on your ninja skills!

Redecorating

Katie and Max enjoy helping us redecorate. Only problem is that they do it without consulting us first.

Max prefers to use latex paint on plain wall as his artistic medium. Notice the nice straight strokes:



Katie prefers magic marker on anything:



Say what you will, you can't accuse us of stifling our children's creativity.

Thomas is getting in the Christmas spirit early this year

A new song composed by my second-born.

Bow down, bow down
To the power of Santa.
Or be crushed, be crushed
By his jolly boots of doom.